You're the Only One Read online

  Logan held my hand as we all sat in a circle on the floor of Whitney’s apartment. I’d been introduced to a few more of his friends that would be joining the party. Everyone seemed so relaxed—smoking joints, drinking wine, laughing, and joking—like they weren’t all about to get naked and hump each other.

  Logan knew I was tense, and he’d helped ease my nerves a little on the way over. He’d promised that we’d only be with each other. He’d said he just wanted me to see what went on at a party so that maybe I could lose some of the anxiety I felt about it. He’d also given me some ecstasy for good measure. I’d reluctantly taken it, not sure if it was the best idea but knowing it would help me loosen up.

  Logically, I knew Logan was probably right. I was sure it wouldn’t be as weird or scary as I was making it out to be in my head, but still…it was an orgy with a bunch of people I hardly knew. Whitney and I had become a little closer over the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to have sex with her, and I didn’t really want to see her have sex either.

  God, I’m such a prude. This is ridiculous. I used to be adventurous!

  When I turned to face Logan, he peered down at me, and I felt the need to prove I was still the same fun Sky. Reaching up, I pulled his head toward mine. I pressed my lips against his, and he sucked in a breath of surprise before he helped deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding into my mouth and reawakening the desire he’d built up earlier. I vaguely noticed the people around us watching, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t anything they hadn’t seen before. After a very effective make-out session, someone cleared their throat, and we pulled away from each other.

  That was when Logan and I noticed someone standing beside us. We both tilted our heads back. A woman was standing there with a smile on her face. She had long brown hair and blue eyes. She was gorgeous, and she was staring at Logan like he was her best friend.

  “Sasha,” he said, smiling up at her.

  A crippling jealousy swept through my entire body.

  Logan grabbed my hand and urged me to stand with him. When we did, Sasha tore her eyes away from Logan’s to look at me. The smile stayed in place, but her eyes weren’t as warm when they landed on mine.

  “Hi. You must be Sky.”

  “That’s me,” I said, sounding weaker than I’d hoped.

  Logan hugged Sasha, and I didn’t miss how her hands roamed his back. They squeezed each other tighter than a normal hug required. After a few long seconds, he finally pulled away and put his arm around my shoulders.

  “I missed you, Sasha.” He paused as they stood there, looking at each other, before he smiled down at me. “This is Sky’s first time, so we’re staying exclusive tonight,” he said so casually, like he’d just told her what we’d had for dinner.

  “Ah.” She cut her eyes to me and said, “Well, I hope you can handle him.” She winked at Logan before going to greet the rest of the group.

  What a bitch. What the fuck am I thinking?

  My heartbeat was frantic as I tried to think of an excuse to leave. Maybe I could puke in the middle of the lust circle. I was feeling like that might be a serious possibility.

  “Sky?”

  “Huh?” My eyes were looking everywhere but at his.

  “Look at me, babe.”

  I closed my eyes, willing myself not to fall into another one of his spells, before opening them and meeting his.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I just…” I started glancing around the room again. Too much incense. Too many people. “I need some air.”

  Logan took my hand, pulling me across the room, toward Whitney’s balcony. I could feel the ecstasy kicking in, and I regretted taking it. I hoped I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

  The blast of fall air felt so good against my face. I sucked it into my lungs and let him lead me to the corner and out of sight from his friends inside.

  “Are you okay?”

  I closed my eyes and nodded.

  “Are you sure?”

  I shook my head.

  “We can leave right now if you want. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I can go let them know—”

  “No,” I interrupted him.

  Logan’s green eyes studied mine, and I held his gaze. I wasn’t a fucking pussy. If those girls could be confident enough to have open relationships, I could, too. I wasn’t going to go running like some scared little girl. So what if there was a roomful of dicks and vaginas? So. What?

  I smiled as my body started to tingle all over, and I lifted my hands to run my palms over Logan’s cheeks.

  “You’re so pretty,” I murmured, pressing my body against his.

  He chuckled. “I think the X is kicking in.”

  I nodded, the permanent smile never leaving my lips. My insecurities were melting away, and all I wanted was Logan.

  “I love you,” I told him, my hands moving over his arms and chest.

  I was too high to care if I meant it or not.

  Logan’s eyes bounced between mine as a smile brightened his pretty face. His hands moved to my jaw, and he tilted my head back to kiss me. This time, it was tender and soft; it was sensual and exactly what I needed. It felt better than any kiss he’d ever given me.

  “I love you, too. I know you’re rolling, and you might not mean it, but I’ve been waiting to tell you. I didn’t want to scare you off,” he admitted, peppering kisses on my cheeks and nose.

  “Really?” The part of me that was still thinking clearly was surprised by his confession. The other part wanted to start humping him.

  He pulled back. “Yes, really. How could I not fall in love with you, Sky? You’re amazing.”

  A sincere smile curled my lips, and I blushed. At least somebody loved me.

  “Say it again,” I told him, running the tips of my fingers through his hair.

  “I love you.”

  I shouldn’t like hearing it so much. But, fuck me, I did.

  When we finally went back into the apartment, I quickly realized the party had started without us. And all I could see were asses, naked asses, everywhere.

  Holy shit.

  The room was relatively quiet, except for the occasional moan and sound of skin slapping skin. It was totally erotic and extremely arousing.

  Logan squeezed my hand in his and pulled me over to an unoccupied pillow in the corner of the room, away from everyone else.

  “Just watch,” he whispered into my ear as he moved to sit down, pulling me between his legs.

  I leaned back and felt his dick poking me from behind. He was rock hard. I bit my bottom lip, feeling my own body reacting to the scene in front of us. I’d thought it would feel wrong to watch, but I couldn’t look away. I was in a state of pure euphoria, and my body craved contact.

  Jared was on his knees as Beverly and Whitney took turns, giving him head. He closed his eyes, the pleasure evident on his face. He leaned down and started fingering Beverly as another man, Eric, moved behind Whitney. She moaned as he lined himself up, slowly pushing himself inside her.

  Logan’s hands came around me and pinched my hard nipples through my shirt. It sent a shock wave down my body and between my legs. I moaned and pressed my thighs together, needing the friction.

  My eyes wandered to the other group in the room. As a man fucked Sasha from behind, she had her head between another woman, Veronica’s, legs. Sasha started moaning as he increased his speed, the sound muffled by Veronica’s hoo-ha. It must have felt good because Veronica started moaning, too.

  Logan’s hand was in my pants now. He was circling my clit with his fingers as he kissed the side of my neck. I rolled my hips, my body succumbing to the overpowering need to feel him inside me. All the sexual tension from earlier in the day came crashing back down on me, tenfold.

  “That’s right, Sky. Let go,” he murmured against my skin as he slipped a finger inside me.

  I pressed my head back against his shoulder and closed my eyes as the sensations took over. My hips started p
umping against his hand, and I moaned, overwhelmed by it all.

  Turning around, I got on my knees and unzipped Logan’s jeans. He helped me pull them down along with his underwear, and his cock sprang free. I licked my lips as I admired his beautiful body. Standing up, I pulled my jeans down my legs and kicked them off my feet, all my inhibitions completely gone.

  Logan put a condom on and I straddled his lap before guiding him inside me. We both gasped as we felt the connection. I was so wet, so lost in him.

  I was falling into an abyss, and now, there was no turning back.

  DILLON

  “I’ll miss you,” Natasha said, sticking her bottom lip out.

  I pulled my guitar strap over my shoulder and kissed her. “I’ll miss you, too. Call me whenever you want, okay?”

  She nodded. “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Every time I said those words to her, I would feel myself believing them a little more.

  It was the day before Thanksgiving, and Sky and I were leaving for Maryland. Natasha would be on a flight to Florida in a few hours. We kissed one more time before Kuma and I got into the rental car parked on the curb. Sky was in the driver’s seat, and Amy Winehouse was blasting from the speakers. We both waved to Natasha before Sky pulled the car onto the street, and we were on our way home.

  “Road trip!” Sky shouted, pulling her Ray-Bans down over her eyes.

  Reaching over, I turned the volume down a little.

  Sky’s jaw dropped. “How dare you! That was my jam!”

  “Yeah, well, it can still be your jam. I just want to hear myself think.”

  She sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. “What a buzzkill.”

  I adjusted my seat to give my legs more room. Feeling more comfortable, I leaned back and watched Sky’s profile as she drove. Something seemed different about her, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I felt like I hadn’t seen her in months even though it had only been a week. At least she seemed happier than the last time I’d seen her.

  “Did you get a haircut?”

  Sky touched her hair that was hanging down in waves around her shoulders. It looked pretty.

  “No. Why?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Something has changed. Have you been working out or something?”

  Sky laughed. “Yeah, right.”

  “Well then, what is it?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, dude. I’m the same. It’s been a while since we hung out, so your eyes are readjusting to my awesomeness.”

  I chuckled and shook my head before peering out my window at the traffic around us. “That must be it.”

  “So, do you have any new gigs lined up?”

  I turned to face her again. “Nah. I told Matteo to give it a rest for a while.”

  “What? Why?” Sky’s dark eyebrows furrowed over her sunglasses.

  “I need a break.”

  “A break from what, Dillon? You love music.”

  “Chill out. I’m not quitting or anything. I just asked for some time.”

  Sky kept her eyes on the road, but I noticed her grip on the steering wheel tightening.

  “Fuck that, dude. If it’s something you love to do, then do it.”

  She glanced at me, but I didn’t respond. I loved my music, and she knew that, but I was feeling drained. I’d been busting my ass for years with nothing to show for it.

  “Is it Natasha?”

  I jerked my head back, wondering where she’d gotten that idea. “What? No.”

  She defensively lifted her fingers from the steering wheel. “I was only asking. I mean, Natasha is a famous model. I’m just saying, it would make sense if seeing that success every day made you a little insecure about your own—”

  “That’s not it, Sky. I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I haven’t written a fucking song in months. It’s like the inspiration isn’t coming anymore.”

  “Okay, okay. Sorry. Sheesh.”

  We were both quiet as Amy’s soulful voice sang “Back to Black,” and Sky took us into New Jersey.

  “I went to a sex party,” Sky blurted out, keeping her eyes glued on the road.

  My eyebrows rose. “You what?”

  “You heard me. Don’t make me say it again.”

  “Wow. A sex party? What is that? An orgy with party hats and cake?”

  Sky laughed, and her shoulders relaxed. She must’ve been nervous to tell me.

  “No. It’s just an orgy.”

  “Mmhmm. And did you participate in this orgy?”

  My eyes roamed over her body, searching for some sign of change. I wasn’t sure why; it wasn’t like the changes would be physical.

  I knew there was something different about her.

  Her cheeks flushed, and I felt an irrational urge to kick Logan’s ass.

  “No, not really…maybe a little.”

  “How do you participate a little in an orgy?”

  “I took some ecstasy, so I might have done a little more than I had planned.”

  “You what? Sky, I thought you were done fuckin’ around with that shit.”

  “I am! I am! I promise. I didn’t plan on taking it. Logan had some, and I was so nervous that I took it, so I could chill out. Everyone there was clean. They all get tested and everything. And I didn’t actually have sex with anyone, besides Logan. There was just some touching and stuff.”

  I took a beat to get my emotions in check. I was pissed and feeling protective over Sky, but I really had no right to. She was a grown woman. There was nothing wrong with her exploring her sexuality—as long as it was her choice, and she wasn’t pressured into it. It was the drugs that I didn’t like. Sky had finally moved on from that part of her life, and it seemed like Logan was dragging her backward.

  “What kind of boyfriend gets his girl high on X and then brings her to an orgy?” I asked, watching her profile.

  She chewed on the inside of her cheek and gave me a weak shrug. “I think I love him. I don’t want to. But…I think I do.”

  She winced, as if she were expecting me to yell at her, but I couldn’t yell even if I wanted to. It felt like the air had been knocked out of me. I also couldn’t judge her for it. I’d been telling Natasha I loved her for two weeks, and I still wasn’t sure if I was telling the truth. But, if Sky thought she was in love with Logan, then she was in deeper than I’d suspected, and her heart was in serious danger of being broken by him—for a second time.

  “You think you’re in love with him? Are you sure you want to fall in love with a man who doesn’t consider you the only one?”

  “You act like I have a choice in the matter. It’s not like I can say, No, Heart, don’t fall in love with him. And what do you mean, the only one?”

  “You aren’t the only one for him. You aren’t the only one who has his heart. You aren’t the only one he wants, the only one he needs.”

  The more I spoke, the more I realized that I was such a fucking hypocrite. I was acting no better than Logan was. No, I was worse because at least Logan had been man enough to tell Sky he had feelings for someone else. I was in a relationship with Natasha and telling her I loved her, all while pretending I didn’t have feelings for my best friend.

  “Okay, you can shut up now.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to burst your bubble, Sky. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Stop being so negative, D. Logan and I have fun together. He’s opened my eyes to new things, and he makes me happy. And, besides, who’s to say I’ll ever be someone’s only one? Maybe this is enough for me.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Sky didn’t look at me, and I wondered if she knew she was lying or if she really believed what she had said.

  “Well, for the record, I think you deserve more.”

  Four hours later, we were pulling into my mom’s driveway. I’d driven the second half of the trip because I couldn’t handle Sky’s crazy dri
ving any more than two hours at a time.

  “Dillon! My baby is home.”

  I got out of the car and glanced over my shoulder to see my mom rushing toward me in her apron, her arms spread wide. I smiled and leaned down to give her a big hug. She smelled like home. She also felt thinner.

  “Ma, what’s going on? You’re so skinny,” I said, squeezing her around the waist.

  She pulled back and hit my shoulder before turning her attention to Sky.

  “Mi Cielo! Oh, how I’ve missed you. You look even more beautiful every time I see you. Isn’t she beautiful, Dillon?”

  I let Kuma out of the backseat.

  “Dillon!”

  “Yes, Sky is always beautiful,” I said, pulling my bag and guitar out of the car.

  “Come on. Dinner is almost ready.”

  A few neighbors were in my mom’s living room, watching television. Women were laughing in the kitchen, and Uncle Ramon was already sitting at the table, waiting for his food. It was a typical holiday at Mom’s. I could smell her famous pork chops and arroz con pollo in the kitchen.

  As I made my way down the hall to one of the guest rooms, I stopped to look at a photo of Maurice hanging on the wall. He would’ve been twenty-seven this year. I missed him like crazy.

  Lowering my head, I sent him a quick message in case he was listening. I love you, bro. Watch out for Mom. We miss you.

  After dropping my stuff off, I went to the bathroom and washed my hands.

  “Time to eat!” my mom shouted before ordering people to bring dishes to the table.

  I tried to make my way toward the dining room for some food, but before I could, Sky grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen.

  “She brought him,” she whispered, peeking past my shoulder. I tried to follow her gaze, but she squeezed my arm harder and snapped, “Don’t look!”

  “Brought who?”

  “Him,” she said against my arm, watching the living room, as if something might jump out and attack her.

  “Sky, I’m gonna need more information than—”

  “My mom,” she hissed. “She brought her boyfriend to a family function! You know what that means, right?”